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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in beauti_lily_ful's LiveJournal:

Thursday, August 11th, 2005
8:31 pm
This World just isn't what we See it as being!
You Girls know that it has been sometime since I have last written anything on here. I lately have been dating an individual who is a lot older then me. He has amazing qualities. I know a lot of this isn't going to make sence but I have a strong feeling that God is calling me to be with and around this individual for His(God's) Purpose. Its hard to describe but I have not been able to see this world the same since I have read '90 minutes in Heaven'. I see no purpose in the daily things we do when God has only asked us to be deciples. All I ever see now is God in everything I do. EVERYTHING! Today I was talking to my boyfriend about life and about the things he had struggled with when he was younger, and how it affects him now. And I think to myself that with God I have dealt with everything he has gone through because of a purpose. To be here today, and know what I know now so that I can be a witness of God. Life hasn't be easier and it never will be we struggle for God's purpose. We hurt and suffer for his Will! I never thought if it like that before but we are being blessed for what we have endured through our lives for that reason of touching others. I can not say that I will always be with this guy that I am seeing now and it's very hard to understand why God has even brought this guy to my attention. But because of his purpose I have been placed her for His Glory. I am not ashamed to praise God for his so being of putting me through all I have endured. For His sacrifice was worth every moment of my life that I have wondered in why I have gone through all that I have suffered. I must ask you as well to think back and see what the Lord has put you though so that we can be here to day to be witnesses. Witnesses that know how it feels to suffer and to be lonely, to be hurt and hungry. To be poor and struggle. To feel like we are societies lowest. Isn't each day that you have gone through a rough time worth going through so that you can relate to someone who has given up on there job and on God. Or needs to know that it's not God who is making there life misrible. All he is asking is for us is to Love! To endure each day so that tomorrow can be a day of witnessing and praising God. If I could have a choice right now I would ask God to have me walk through His gates so that I can finally be with him, So I can leave all the selfishness, dept, shame, unfaithfulness, money prying world! But God has chosen for me to be her right now, to be in this world to make a difference! As well as for you. He is talking to you right now and he is making it clear. Forget about your life, and start seeing the world as your packing for a trip, all you have to bring is a few people so that they can share the never ending fun of Heaven, and Eternity with your Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ! I got tickets for thousands, how many are you going to bring??

Current Mood: peaceful
Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
7:26 pm
Wow life has a way of calling you back...
It quite amazing how life has a way of bring you back to hope. I had recieved news from Sylvia that a position at her work has opened so I have a high chance of getting the position. Which would work out wonderfully! I finally got a day off today, but does that mean I am able to get away from work. Well lets just say I had a few things that needed to be done, and pretty much took all day to get done... It's pretty hard not be lazy on your day off..

Current Mood: lazy
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
6:39 pm
A new out look, a new page turned..
For some of you, you know that I have decided that I am going to get a second job. It's I think about time to get on my feet where I am able to become fully independent. Which I only owe it to myself. I am 21 years old and think it's about time to bring on a new responsiblity. I had mentioned it to the boyfriend, which probably didnt make his day knowing that I would have even less time to spend with him. Seeing we only get to see eachother maybe two out of seven nights out of the week. Its only fair that I get a start on my life.. My parents will be moving in a years or less time to BC. This is only if the beef boarders open up for cattle to be on sale into the States. Also I have no idea if my schooling will be done then, or if I will be moving on with them. OR staying here in Thunder Bay. I can only be excited for the future for I don't know what it holds. But I know as long as my faith is in Christ, I can only grow. I know I wouldn't be anywhere with out God right now. He has helped me through hell, and even through it's outhouse! And God has always shown me that he has never forgotten me, or left me. And I couldn't be able to say how much I love Him for that!

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
6:37 pm
Why Does the world even turn?
It wasn't to bad to now that my coarse it now going to be running in January, But along the lines I must continue working for my job, which to tell you the truth does not bring in a lot of income. I have been forced to find another job where I will be able to get some more income to help bring my sorry ass out of dept which was made by the vicious and greedy dentist that feel that they must over charge you in every little move they make when your sitting in their chair. It's sad how they never listen to reason on how your a student and working all the time means nothing to them, unless your bring in major cash to pay off their extremely high bill! I honestly was quoted the price before I entered that chair and when I walked out the price had doubled. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And now that it's been a struggle to even pay small sums off, they have brought there sad situation of a student who is not able to pay off her extremely rediculiously high bill for sitting in the dentists chair for only half and hour! AND believe me when I say they didn't even do the job right, I still have pain in my tooth from they work they did!! I can't believe this world, and how greedy it has become. Of any individual who wasn't able to work a job that would allow them to pay for an education, or have the privilage to have a loan, will never get anywhere, they will be walking circles and get no where in life!! Exspecially in this day of age. If you were not born well off, you will never get anywhere in life unless you work your sorry ass off, at a low wage job. Then maybe pay for some education that might get you standings but there is never a garrentee. I know people with degrees that still can't get a job right out of college or university!! Why the hell spend most of your teen years working, the getting an education, the work again, to pay for a home that needs constant repairs, support a family that always has to have money pumped in to keep living, then still work so that you will have something to retire on if your lucky to even be able to retire at a good age, but by then your sooo old and have so many problems with your body because of all the shit you had to do when your younger, and have someone look after you, meanwhile the government doesn't give a rats ass about paying for your care. And you have doctor that doesn't even listen to you because of your many complains about soreness, and over doases you with drugs that are not even necessary, and you start loosing your mind because of drugs, or because your so friken lonely, and put in a home where you stare at a tv all day. Then wish you could die, becuase you know that heaven is your only hope left for happiness. IT's soo sick and sad this world and I can't get it. Its all because we are that greedy to have to have some standing in society, need to have money to live and we have to take as much as we can from others to survive otherwise we will never get anywhere in this world. We are never happy. And if someone else isn't happy, we have to pay for it through our noses. I honestly hate this world for what it has become. And wish God would send his Son for his second coming for this shit is getting way out of hand!!

Current Mood: bitchy
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